At the end of March Tyler and I were asked to speak church and share some personal experience of how the Atonement has blessed our lives as we've gone through trials. I thought I would share because we both shared a lot about William's experience. Yes I wrote my talk about word for word because if I don't my mind goes blank. Here you go:
I
am grateful for the opportunity to speak today about Christ’s Atonement. I
think the topic is very relevant and a good reminder as this week we celebrate
our Savior’s Atonement, death, and resurrection. More specifically I was asked
to share some personal experiences of how I have used the Atonement as I’ve
gone through trials.
We
are reminded in Alma 7:11-12: “And he shall go forth suffering pains
and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be
fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his
people.
And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands
of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities,
that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may
know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their
infirmities.
Christ not only atoned for our sins but also for our pain and
afflictions. Because Christ atoned for these things He Himself knows personally
and infinitely the pain we face and knows perfectly how to help and comfort us
in times of need.
Sister Burton of the General Relief Society Presidency said: “Why does the Lord allow suffering and adversity to come to us in
this life? Simply put, it is part of the plan for our growth and progress! We
“shouted for joy”6 when we knew we would
have the opportunity to come to earth to experience mortality.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, “Our needed
conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by
comfort and tranquillity.”7 That supreme act of love
ought to send each of us to our knees in humble prayer to thank our Heavenly
Father for loving us enough that He sent His Only Begotten and perfect Son to
suffer for our sins, our heartaches, and all that seems unfair in our own
individual lives.
Sister Burton continued: “Without an
understanding of Heavenly Father’s perfect plan of happiness and the Savior’s
Atonement as the central feature of that plan, these challenges could seem unfair.
We all share in the trials of life together. But in faithful hearts is written,
“All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus
Christ.”
How grateful I am that Heavenly Father loves each of us enough
to send His perfect son to atone for us so that we will not be alone as we
experience mortality and that everything can be made right through His
atonement.
Sister reeves has said: “Heavenly Father and
our Savior, Jesus Christ, know us and love us. They know when we are in pain or
suffering in any way. They do not say, “It’s OK that you’re in pain right now
because soon everything is going to be all right. You will be healed, or your
husband will find a job, or your wandering child will come back.” They feel the
depth of our suffering, and we can feel of Their love and compassion in our
suffering. Whatever sin or weakness or pain or struggle or trial you are going
through, He knows and understands those very moments. He loves you! And He will
carry you through those moments. He has paid the price that He might know how
to succor you. Cast your burdens upon Him. Tell your Heavenly Father how you
feel. Tell Him about your pain and afflictions and then give them to Him.”
All of us face
challenges and times in our lives when we need Heavenly help. We are told that
if we would be humble in such times of need and turn to him for help, that we
would “be made strong, and be blessed from on high.’ We need center our hearts
and minds of the Lord’s will and try to learn what Heavenly Father is trying to
teach us so that we can grow.
Elder
Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is
wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as
patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we
endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters,
purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and
charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through
sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we
come here to acquire.”
The
last 8 months have been a very difficult time for our family. A year ago we
found out we were pregnant and half way through my pregnancy we were told that
our son’s heart did not develop correctly. William would be born with a very
rare heart defect and surgery was a possibility. William was born in November
and his heart seemed to be doing great. We took him home and followed up with
his cardiologist. About a month later they noticed that he had some other
issues with his heart that needed immediate attention. He went through his
first open heart surgery January 17 of this year. He was in the operating room
for 12 hours. The surgery they planned on doing didn’t work and they needed to
proceed with a procedure that is done once every other year at Primary’s. So
they don’t have much practice and don’t know exactly what to expect. His recovery
was rough and slow but now 2 months later he to be doing well. This experience
has been very difficult, but we have been able to see so many miracles of the
Lord blessing us during this time and I have grown closer to my Savior and His
atonement. I felt impressed share some of the details and miracles we
experienced.
Upon
hearing that William’s heart was more complicated than they had thought and
that he would need open heart surgery within the next couple week. I was
getting ready to call my parents to tell them the news. I was nervous and very
scared to do so. As I’m sure any of us can imagine the emotions when it comes
to hearing something like this about our child.
At those times I think many of us as couples could feel alone and that
no one would really understand what we were going through.
We
were reminded of the scripture previously read in Alma 7 about Christ suffering
for our fears, worries, heartaches and pain. I couldn’t have gone through this
without Tyler but we discussed that neither of us were fully capable to
completely comfort one another during this trial. We both needed the comfort
that only Christ can offer through using His atonement and relying on the
relief He is willing to give. We knew we were not alone.
Elder Holland said, “To
all such, I speak of the loneliest journey ever made and the unending blessings
it brought to all in the human family. I speak of the Savior’s solitary task of
shouldering alone the burden of our salvation. Rightly He would say: “I have
trodden the winepress alone; and of the people there was none with me. … I
looked, and there was none to help; and I wondered that there was none to
uphold me.”
Christ does know what it feels like to be alone more than
anyone. But we are never alone. Christ has felt our personal pains and because
of this He knows exactly how to meet our needs.
Matthew 11:28-29: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take
my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye
shall find rest unto your souls.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks has taught: We will be “given
strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” All
that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed
by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto our
souls.” Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain,
worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm.
Seeing
William for the first time after surgery was heartbreaking. He was blessed
enough to be healthy at home. It felt like we had given them this perfectly
healthy baby and now he was completely broken and in pain. It was hard as
parents to watch our sweet little boy look so sick and relying on so many
machines to help him sustain life. I felt as though I was the cause and could
hear his asking me, “Why did you do this to me?” I watched him recover in the
hospital slowly, days without progressing. As I watched him recover, I thought
about how the doctors and us felt it was best to take this step now. If we
waited till his heart got sick we wouldn’t have many options. I thought about
how Heavenly Father gives us trials. He knows it will not be easy and it will
be hard to watch us go through them. He gives them though because he knows they
will help us to grow, to become the person that He wants us to become if we let
him mold us.
At
times I wondered how I was going to be able to do this, how I was going to be
able to take care of this little boy. But I knew that Heavenly Father would not
give me something that He didn’t think I could do and that gave me hope. I knew
I needed to put my faith in and rely on Him. Looking back, we have seen that
God was preparing us for this time. A further witness that He knew what would
happen and we have no doubt that William was supposed to come when he did and
with a heart defect. I have held on to that knowledge throughout this, it has helped me
through the toughest times, knowing that this experience was meant for me. I
have leaned to trust in the Lord and his wisdom. William has been a
blessing to our family and has brought a special spirit into our home and
family.
Spending so much
time at the hospital, I learned how important perspective is. While what we
have experienced is difficult, there are certainly always worse things. There
were many in the CICU that had been there for a long period of time - one girl
for almost a year waiting for a heart and I saw some lose loved ones. I feel
very blessed that William’s condition can be treated, that there is hope. I’m
grateful for doctors and surgeons who chose to go to medical school and who
chose to research congenital heart defects. 20 years ago there was no treatment
for Williams condition. I am so grateful
to be living at this time where we have the blessing of such advance medical
treatments.
During
this time we have seen so many miracles and blessing. My testimony of prayer
has been strengthened as we have prayed and fasted for very specific blessings
for William. It is very humbling to hear of friends and family and even strangers
saying they are praying, fasting, and even putting our names in the temple. We
felt those prayers and know that is why William has continued to recover and do
so well at home. I know he hears and
answers each prayer. There were many occasions where family prayed for specific
needs during his surgery and recovery that we saw come to pass. Sometimes the
answers weren’t exactly what we were praying for but God answered them in the
best way for William.
My
faith in the priesthood has increased as I’ve seen blessings come through
Christ’s authority. There were many occasions were myself or William received a
blessing. These blessings helped us put our faith in Christ as we were never
given direct answers of what would happen, but after each one we were comforted
that everything was going to happen according the Heavenly Father’s will.
William’s journey
is far from over, but I know that by centering my heart and mind on the lord’s
will, I will be strengthened and gain a greater understanding of the Lord’s
plan
President
Monson has said, “I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond
measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down
upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of
our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk
uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that
can defeat us. My beloved brothers and sisters fear not. Be of good cheer. The
future is as bright as your faith.”
D&C
121:7 says, “peace be unto thy soul;
thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.”
This experience has
helped me realize the daily need to feel of Christ’s atonement. Before I seem
to only use the atonement at times when I’ve sinned and needed to repent or
during big or hard trials. I have a testimony that Christ wants to help us
everyday. The atonement is not only meant to be used during really challenging
times but he suffered even in a way that he can help us through the small
things. There were many times where the biggest blessings were just feeling
peace and comfort and knowing that Christ was by my side. My hope and prayer is
that not only I can remember this but also each of us has the opportunity to experience
Christ atonement in every aspect of our lives. I’ll leave you with part of the
song ‘I know that my redeemer lives’: He lives to silence all my fears; He lives to wipe away my tears;
He lives to calm my troubled heart; He lives all blessings
to impart.
In the name of Jesus Christ Amen
